So now that I’m pregnant and going through all the ups and downs many pregnant women do, I’ve come to a realization. I do not like being pregnant. It’s funny because I’ve prayed and prayed for this and I want nothing more than to have these babies and be their mother, but I’m inside my own head. I battle EVERY SINGLE DAY wit the weight gain. Trust me. It’s nice that I’m not saying no to very many food items, but at the same time, I don’t want to be an oompa loompa. All I can hear is “I’ve got a blueberry for a daughter!” Look, I get it. Weight gain is part of it and every one says it’s temporary, but at the same time it’s a hard pill to swallow. I’m going against everything I was ever taught to maintain a healthy lifestyle. I eat rice almost everyday and toast bread every morning for breakfast WITH BUTTER. I finally did switch to almond butter, but geez. It’s like when you get pregnant a switch is turned up or down. I remember the first few weeks before my nausea and food aversions appeared in my life, I was walking and thinking to myself, how I was going to eat nothing but healthy things? No Doritos or any thing that might not be good for them. After all, they have no control over what I’m eating and I wanted to give them a fair shot. Well, that all went out the window the minute I was praying to the porcelain gods. Broccoli and kale became my enemy. All the things I liked before repulsed me and all the things I NEVER eat was on my daily menu. I have driven through so many drive throughs for piping hot French fries and am eating all sorts of processed foods I haven’t eaten in years. And just like that, I had gone back on my word to these babies. It’s a battle with my mind.
For me it would be easier, I guess, if I was only gaining in my belly, but I’m not. When I turn around, all I see is dimples and cellulite. Joy. I’m no stranger to cellulite, but the minute it shows it’s ugly face, I snap my butt into gear. I clean up my diet and run by butt off. Literally. I can’t do that now. I just found out that when you get pregnant, your body immediately goes into fat storage and stores an extra 7-10 pounds for the baby. (My bf told me this). That’s why apparently many pregnant women battle and complain about cellulite on their butt and back of their legs. I’m also having a hard time with my activity being limited. Being pregnant with twins is a whole new ball game. It’s even more fragile than carrying one baby. Great. (Insert sarcastic face with 2 thumbs up) I’m a super active person. I run, play soccer, lift weights, paddleboard, snowboard (which I can’t do this year), etc. My activity has been restricted to basically walking and that’s when I’m not bleeding. I still stand on my feet a lot for work so that adds to the strain. Basically, we need to make sure I do everything to keep the cervix closed and the babies cooking as long as possible since twins like to show themselves earlier than single babies. I know I’m complaining, but I promise I would NEVER do anything to jeopardize the safety of my babies. The minute I got pregnant, I became an instant protector. I’ll become the Michelin Man’s twin sister before allowing any harm to come their way. I’m just keeping it real for you guys. That’s me. Honest Angie! Ha! Wish me sanity!